I Can’t Go Any Further…
Have you ever spoken these words? I can’t go any further…..this situation is too much, the pain is more than I can handle, this person has exhausted me, these people have offended me, this situation will never change. You whisper your quiet exhaustion with life and offer a whispered internal surrender. If you are reading this article and your heart is quietly resonating with the words “I can’t go any further”, you are in good company. This is the human experience…..life gets overwhelming, complicated, frustrating, painful and we begin looking for a path of escape.
In I Kings 19 we meet a leader who understands your journey and mine. Elijah had just experienced a huge ministry win (sacrifice burned by fire from heaven), followed by another huge win (rain for the land), followed by a ministry fail (Jezebel wanted to kill him). It’s valuable to note that both ministry wins and ministry losses are costly to the heart, mind, and body. In 1 Kings 19:4-5 we find this leader siting under a bush whispering, “I have had enough…..take my life.” Is it okay to whisper our suicidal thoughts, our pain, and our shattered hopes to Jesus? Yes! As we allow ourselves to speak the truth in our heart we begin the journey to wholeness.
In these moments of desperation, how does God lead us back to a place of wholeness? I’m intrigued to observe that in 1 Kings 19, God’s path for the restoration of Elijah begins in an unexpected place. Elijah slept. Elijah slept as long as he could and then was fed by an angel. He slept and ate. Then…..he slept as long as he could sleep. He slept and ate again! For those of us in ministry we often skip over this part of the story and move to the more “spiritual” part of the story. However, the path to ministry restoration in our desperate times actually begins in a very mundane place……sleep. It is not my intent in this article to offer a comprehensive path for restoration. Rather, I want to draw your attention to the fact that spiritual restoration often begins with physical restoration. Are you exhausted? Are you losing hope? Is it possible that the beginning place on your journey back to hope is…..sleep? Could you give yourself permission to sleep as long as you can sleep, eat well and then repeat as many times as necessary? I know this sounds ridiculously simple and maybe you are tempted to scoff and stop reading. Before you check out and walk away, take a moment to listen to your heart and body. Are you longing for rest? God gives you permission to start with the simple…sleep. He longs to meet you and restore your spirit (as he did for Elijah), but He knows that the journey begins with your body.
God is calling you back to hope, He is longing to see you restored. If you can hear the whisper “I can’t go any further” in your heart, I am inviting you to consider a simple beginning……sleep, eat and repeat until your body is ready for a spiritual restoration of God’s presence and his kind words to your heart. I am, as always, on the journey with you.
Dan
Dan Scarrow
District Superintendent